Monday, December 1, 2008

Results

About six weeks after the D&C, we got the results from the fetal sample, which was inconclusive. The doctor had told me this would probably happen, but I was still hoping it would provide some magical answer that would put my mind at ease.

At the end of November, we got the results from the extensive blood work that my doctor did on me. The purpose was to see if there was any obvious reason for the miscarriages...thyroid, clotting, diabetes...I can't even remember the rest. The results were all normal, aside from the fact that I apparently have a genetic pre-disposition to heart disease...swell...so nothing new to report there.

Obviously, we're glad there is nothing wrong with me, but it would have been nice to hear, "Oh, here is the problem...Pop some baby aspirin and you'll be all good next time."

Regardless of what anyone says, I will always wonder if I did something wrong to cause this. And, without something to pinpoint the problem, I will carry this fear that it might happen again. And, yes, fear is going to hold me back. I know, "a life half-lived" and all that jazz.

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